I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
