apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
