I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
