i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
whose parrot is this?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
