I look better un-naked...
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
