its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
