She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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