is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Randomize
