You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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