I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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