I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.