Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
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I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.