Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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