ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
