i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize