I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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