I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
