it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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