Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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