The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
