so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
