Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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