im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
