Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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