Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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