.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
