Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
