as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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