hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize