is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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