You're so nebulous sometimes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
