idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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