I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
