If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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