"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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