just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
