i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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