Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
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And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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