For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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