so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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