mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
