I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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