wat bout pragnant strippers??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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