in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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