That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
