So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
