I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
