go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
