Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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