i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize