Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
