I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
