be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
