I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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