dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
