There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
