my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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