I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize